Thursday, July 10, 2014

Frankly my Dears, it IS a Big Deal...




I am unsure what qualifies someone to take on the subject of sex, especially when it comes to the right's and wrong's of it.  What I can say is that I am on the opposite end of the naive spectrum and I have the emotional scars and baggage to prove it.  My husband and I have said on occasion that we are the poster family for this particular topic.  We are the walking reasons why God laid down these boundaries.  Perhaps  that's why I have such a need to write about it and carry such a burden about it for others.

More than likely, this is the 1.6 billionth time you've seen a "Christian article" on sex, so one more makes you want to bash your head on something.  Okay, fair enough. Let me beat the dead horse.  But even so, sometimes it only takes one small word to see something through a different lense.  In other words, please don't leave yet.

Maybe you're saying, "Chrissy, that ship sailed many years ago for me," or, "I'm married.  Not a topic I need anymore."  Firstly I would say, we all know children (be it our own or others) in our lives that need to be shown Biblical sex and boundaries. Secondly, this is not purely about premarital sex.  It's about all sexual sin.  This is for people of all walks whether married,  divorced, widowed, separated, or single.   Furthermore, even if you've been in, or are in, the pit of sexual depravity and you feel like there's no hope or it's too late for you- redemption is the sweetest thing on planet earth and it can absolutely be yours- as I well know.

I don't write about this topic without the foreknowledge that it is a non-issue today.  Even the Church as a whole isn't dealing with it anymore.  A blind eye is turned.  It's the sin that gets an "out".  This is partially due to the fact that we are in fact, sexual creatures and it is a natural part of our lives.  And of course, there are the "worse" and cardinal sins- murder and the like- that need addressing first. Hoping that you sense the sarcasm there.

When the premarital sex topic card is drawn, we kind of sigh with an eye roll.  Many of us know it's "wrong" or at least "probably not the right thing to do."  I think most people from all walks would agree that sex is probably best in a marriage relationship.  After all, that's what most people are raised to believe and it just seems right. But it feels like a "natural" sin- and if we are being honest, being good is just not as fun- and way too hard.  So, we feel it's so much easier to just ignore it. (And you feel that since most everyone else is doing it too, you aren't going down alone).  I have to tell you- I've been there.  But, my goal is that by the end of this piece, you may celebrate what God has actually done in this area, instead of maybe rolling your eyes at the thought of yet another lesson on sex outside of a marriage relationship that truthfully just makes us uncomfortable.

Sex in our culture is everywhere and here's what seems to be the theme from the masses (even the so-called Christian masses): "It's just a physical act.  It doesn't have to mean anything significant.  It can be just a physical  act between two consenting people for fun.  It's healthy!"

Let's stop there.  Ponder with me, if you will: if sex were just a physical act, why do rape or molestation victims have a much harder and longer recovery than someone who was only physically assaulted (beaten, etc.)?  A cut or bruise will heal, and it can definitely carry some scars.  But rape and/or molestation touches deep, emotional caves.  Why?  Because sex was created to be an emotional act- not just a physical one.  There's a reason for that and we'll get to it.  But first, let's establish a few things...

If we believe that God is Creator, then we must, by default, believe Him to also be the creator of sex.  That's an odd concept to deal with for some, mentioning God and sex together; but it is in fact His design (ALL sex was His idea to begin with).  As the supreme and single creator of sex, He of course had a plan and purpose for it; hence its creation.  The same can be said for anyone who invents anything.  For example, I don't know who invented the rake, but someone did.  It was invented for the primary purpose of raking leaves into piles.  Now, I'm sure that a rake has been used numerous times for something other than its intended purpose (i.e. killing snakes, breaking a window, etc.) and it actually works for those tasks. But its primary design and purpose is how it works best.  So, having said that, can we all agree that God, being the creator of sex, knows how it is supposed to work?  I think that's a more than fair assumption.  And by the way- He meant it to be pleasurable and fun. 

Many of you, with a church background-or even a history of attending weddings- will have heard that marriage is a picture of Christ and His Church.  This is one of those sentences that normally goes in one ear and right out the other. It's such a "ritual saying" that we don't really notice it.  Few of us ever stop to think about what it really means.  It states the actual purpose of marriage.  Through our marriages, we are supposed to be showing the world how Christ loved, lived and died for His Church (The groom representing Christ, the bride representing the Church).  Tall order, huh?  IMPOSSIBLE one without Christ.  Those aren't just words that sound good in a marriage ceremony- they're action words.  Our marriages are in and of themselves, a ministry!

Jumping ship here, but stick with me...

I want you to flashback with me for a brief history lesson to our Jewish ancestors in the Old Testament.  God made it known that He wanted to dwell with His people.  So, He gave His people very specific requirements (you can read about these in Leviticus and other parts of the Old Testament) to build a place where His Spirit could dwell there with them.  This was to be known as the Tabernacle.  The Tabernacle was a Holy place made up of many parts.  Among other things like worship, animal sacrifices were made here for the sins of the people.  One part of the Tabernacle in particular was placed behind a curtain or veil. It was called the "Holy of Holies."   This place was so Holy, so sacred, that not just anyone could enter. .  It housed the Arc of the Covenant.  The Arc was crafted based on the image of the great Throne Room of God revealed to those who made it. This arc was the earthly dwelling place of God’s actual presence separated from the rest of the temple where men dwelt..  It could only be accessed once a year and only by a high priest who would enter into God's presence for all of Israel and make atonement for their sins.

Let's fast forward several hundred years to the death of Christ.  As He took His last breath on the cross, the veil (curtain) was torn from top to bottom.  Gotquestions.org says, "In a sense, the veil was symbolic of Christ Himself as the only way to the Father (John 14:6). This is indicated by the fact that the high priest had to enter the Holy of Holies through the veil. Now Christ is our superior High Priest, and as believers in His finished work, we partake of His better priesthood. We can now enter the Holy of Holies through Him."  After Christ ascended to heaven, He left a Helper, or the Holy Spirit to help His people.  When we accept Christ as our Savior, the Spirit takes up residence within us.  Folks, this is the SAME Spirit that was housed in the Tabernacle. The same Spirit that could only be accessed once per year.  So Holy, it was separated and inaccessible.  We (you and me)- believers in Christ- are now the Holy, Sacred, Tabernacle where the Spirit takes residence!  Paul told us this in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 , "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."  Our bodies, if we have accepted Christ, are the dwelling place, the Tabernacle, for the Spirit of God.  (I am convinced that's the most gigantic piece of information that we could ever take in!)  The Jews wouldn't dream of defiling such a Holy Place!  It wouldn't be a thought about concept.  To do so would be worse than death!  If we are the new Tabernacle, should the same not apply?

Sexual sin has serious consequences.  No one knows that more than my husband and I.  While yes, we are redeemed and restored, God does not shield us from the harsh consequences of our choices.   God dealt with sexual sin in the Bible very sternly. You can read quite a few stories about it (email me if you'd like to know where).   Paul tells us in Hebrews 13:4 , "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."  It's not to be taken lightly- even in a "sexed up" culture such as ours.

Side note: God's Word is the same 2000 years ago as it is today, and if He delays His coming, it will be the same in another 2000 years.  If he's all-knowing, he knew exactly where we would be in culture today, yet still chose the same words.   Never be misled to think that just because we "live in a different age" that things change.  Trends change, moods change and attitudes change, but humanity stays the same, and so does God's Word.  

So far, we've established that God created sex and that He gets to define its purpose and use.  We've established that our bodies are the new Tabernacle and sexual sin is to defile a Holy place.  We've also mentioned the purpose of marriage.  That brings up a slew of other questions and this is where I will stop for now.  I would like to refer you to Mark Driscoll's book, Real Marriage, that he wrote alongside his wife, Grace.  It is an open, unashamed and very raw look at marriage.  It discusses what a Christian marriage should look like and even takes a really close look at sex.  (It even talks about stuff that "Christians" are too embarrassed  discuss).  It's really informative and highly recommended.  If you know anything about Mark Driscoll, he's a no- holds- barred kind of guy and really relates well to all walks of life-even non-believers.

In closing, let's remember that  if God says it, He does so for a reason.  God isn't proud, so He doesn't have to flex His power muscles by spewing demands for us to follow.  He tells us not to do something to protect us.  Protecting our hearts is of far greater importance to Him than any other protection.


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© 2014 Chrissy Tucker.

Hiatus, Schmiatus!


Well, what a long hiatus! I've missed you, readers! This feels like home for me and although my life is about to get busier than ever, I hope to make regular contributions.

Too much to has happened to even begin putting it all here.  So, you'll have to read the upcoming posts, as it will all come out in due time.  (For a sneak peak, read the "About Me" section).

Email me topics you'd like to see touched on in future posts and I'll add them to my list (chrissy@chrissytucker.com).  If you haven't already, you can get on the mailing list and new posts will come straight to your email address.  I also have a little shop on cafe press to promote the blog where you can get some cute gear - if you so desire (shirts, phone covers, bags, etc).

I hope this finds you all doing well! Let's jump back in! XOXO!


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© 2014 Chrissy Tucker.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Right is Right


Right is right even if no one is doing it and wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.

Read that again and take a moment to let it sink in well.  At this juncture in our history and culture, no words ever rang more true.

I’ll blame a bit on my age, but I intensely hope that it’s more a work of the Holy Spirit giving me a deeper understanding (as He says He will do Luke 24:45); but I have a real problem with the “Tolerance Bug” we have going around regarding many hot topics.  In the past several years, Christians have been labeled, “bigots,” “hate mongers,” and (my favorite), “intolerant.”   All of a sudden, because we fail to embrace something we know to be sinful, we’re closed minded, hate-filled, intolerant bigots.  Really?  Just ten years ago, this was not the case.  More and more people are changing their stance on a variety of issues and it makes me question, are they just plain scared of being in the minority?  I feel this is more a case of not wanting to go against the grain, like high school for adults.  We’re afraid of not being in favor of the popular choice.

I also see this as a classic case of rationalizing our sins.  We hate so much to admit that we are sinners and do wrong, so we are on a mission to make everything “OK”.  “Do what works for you!  Do what feels good to you!”  This message can be found pasted on every facet of our culture from magazines to TV ads and anywhere in between.  My question is, where’s the line?  What is next on our “embracing” list?  Something to think about.

I suppose I am intolerant in many ways.  (I would advise you not to hold your breath waiting on an apology).  Let me tell you what else I am:  forgiving, loving, imperfect and redeemed.  I have more flaws than I could list here.  And that’s where the “Don’t judge me’s” come in.  If I had even a nickel for every time I hear “don’t judge me” in social media, I’d have enough to go somewhere really, really nice…and stay a while.

Many people- Christians included- don’t understand that the word “judge” can be used in two different ways within Scripture.  One definition means to “judge between things, differentiate or discern.”  In other words, we can tell the difference between what is good and evil, right and wrong.  This particular type of “judging” is not the one that Jesus forbade.  Actually, it’s quite the opposite.  There are many times throughout Scripture we are commanded to practice discernment.  We are actually called to differentiate between right and wrong- to judge.  Yes, Jesus said we are not to judge, but he was speaking of the “condemning” judgment.  No one, other than God, has the power to condemn; nor should we even entertain the thought.

As a Christian, we have to take a stand and discern between right and wrong.  Call a spade a spade, even if you are the only one calling it.  There’s no room for conformity in Christendom.  We aren't to worry about being in the minority.  Frankly, it’s a package deal when the Spirit draws us to Himself.

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© 2013 Chrissy Tucker.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Lay Down my Guns



Not to worry- this post is not a political rant on disarming Americans and the Second Amendment. That's another blog on another day. Rather, it's about a song that has certainly snagged on my heartstrings. I find it worthy of sharing and hopefully you will feel a tug or two as well.

My husband and I recently attended a Sanctus Real Concert with a few others from our LIFE Team.  I've been a fan for quite a while and have seen them in concert once before.  I decided to dig out  a few of their old CD's to listen to before we went.  Tucked in the middle of one of the albums is a gem of a song entitled...  wait for it... "Lay Down my Guns."  To say I love this song is quite an understatement.  Of course, tunes are catchy and rhythms are contagious- but good lyrics are moving.  Here's a sample:   

Well I just need a place to lay my head.
Forget the chain that hangs around my neck.
These guns are not as heavy as the hearts they defend.
I can't wait to get back home where I can find some rest.

When I lay down my guns and lift my hands.
Surrender to Love and live again.
May this desert reach its end where my new life begins,
When I lay down my guns and lift my hands.

I've probably heard this song dozens of times.  But we all know it most often takes a certain season of life for something to speak to you freshly.  As I listened to these lyrics again and again, new life was breathing into them-and into me!  All I could do was picture myself handing over my issues, frustrations, failures and problems to Christ...literally placing them into the palms of his hands from mine.  My load felt lighter and praises danced off my tongue.  

The realization that Christ can, and will, fight your fights is a profound place to come to in your walk.  It's not head knowledge, though; it's heart knowledge.  It's beautiful that before we lift our hands, we must lay down our guns (which, honestly, do we really think we have more capable weapons in our arsenal than our Creator?  He's not only more capable; He's worthy).  Once the guns are down, and hands are lifted, they're empty.  We've nothing left to cling to in this earthly realm.  Only praise, adoration and worship are left.  That's right where we're supposed to be.  And frankly, that's all we need to fight the best fight we've ever fought.
  


Photobucket © 2013 Chrissy Tucker.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Devotion -Revisited

In late 2011, I spoke to a group of women in Des Moines on the topic of devotion. Here's snippet of that, with a new tweak or two...

Devotion is defined as: Profound dedication; consecration; earnest attachment to a cause or person. When we think of devotion, a number of images might come to mind.  Perhaps a mother to her children, a devoted citizen, worker, wife or husband. But Paul takes it one step further. In Romans 6:16-18 he says,


 "Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?  But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness."

He goes on to call us "slaves of God" in verse 22. Don't miss this gals!  Paul just called us slaves!

Take a look at the definition of a slave (courtesy of Thefreedictionary.com): 1) One bound in servitude as the property of a person or household; 2)One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence; 3)One who works extremely hard or doggedly; to toil.

That certainly redefines this concept of devotion, doesn't it? We are called to be slaves for Christ!

While our husbands are certainly the head of our home (or should be anyway,) we as women carry a certain “power” or dare I even say, “responsibility” to set the tone of our households. What I mean is simply this: When it is apparent that you are devoted, or enslaved, to your walk with Christ, then your home, your husband and your children will be uplifted and inspired- and are more likely to follow suit. We’ve all heard the saying, “When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy.” Well, the opposite is also true! When we find ourselves devoted and joyful, no matter our circumstances- that has power!  I know if I’m in a bad mood, my husband will shortly follow. If the girls are with us, they sense it too and it sets a tone for our evening. Sometimes I don’t like having that type of power- but I do. We all do.

Our sense of devotion- to anything, bad or good- can be contagious. Have you ever seen someone so dedicated to a cause of some sort that you find yourself excited, and even interested, even if you may have never been interested in something like that before? Our fervor for Christ can be just as contagious.

So how do we gain this devotion, or this attitude of servitude? I think the base we build it on is what I call: DEVOTION DESPITE DETAILS. Circumstances change, we change, others change, moods change. But He never does. Despite anything that may be going on in our lives, He is still sovereign. He still reigns! He still deserves our devotion. When we can recognize that…IT …CHANGES…THE…GAME!

Have you witnessed someone seemingly so devoted to Christ, only to fall away after a parent or loved one is stricken with a disease? Maybe someone, heaven forbid, loses a child and they walk away from the Lord. I don’t pretend to know or ever want to know this kind of loss. But we’ve all seen it.

I was watching a 9/11 10th anniversary special recently. It was talking about the faith of some of the family members of those lost, after the tragedy. They were asking, “Where was God on that day?” One woman, who lost her precious husband, said she now can’t even bare to speak to God anymore, let alone worship him because she feels so abandoned.  I have tried to put myself in that place and think how I may feel, although it’s impossible to know. I pray to God that I wouldn't make the same statement!  I love my husband- Y'all, I love that man! I don’t want to know this life without him. I plead with God that I never have to know. But what I do know is that whether he walks into the house and gives me a loving hug every day or not…God still reigns! He is still sovereign, and He still deserves my devotion.

Where was God that tragic day? He was everywhere. He was under that rubble. He was outside those windows. He was on those planes. He was in the midst of every family who received bad news that day.  Do you know that 50,000 people worked in those 2 buildings? 50,000! And while every single life is beautiful, precious and significant, we only lost 3,000 that day. 3,000 out of 50,000! Oh, friends, God was there that day. But here’s the thing: even if we had lost 50,000 souls that day, guess what? God still reigns! He’s still sovereign, and He still deserves our devotion.

We frequently hear of pastors or Christians in other countries that refuse to renounce their faith and are imprisoned.  That’s devotion! That’s enslavement!

Devotion despite the details, no matter how tiny or enormous those details may be.  When our children witness that kind of devotion in our lives, it plants a seed that we can’t fully grasp! God can do a lot with a tiny seed. A seed with Christ is beyond what we can comprehend! When our husbands see this type of devotion, it inspires them to be a better leader for their families. It can change everything. Devotion is contagious!

This is the foundation we must lay. When that foundation is understood, and applied, everything else falls into place.  Let's plant a seed and change the game.


Photobucket © 2012 Chrissy Tucker.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Slow Down!

Well, another birthday is upon me.  Could somebody tell me how to slow this ride down?  Good grief!  I've always been told it will go faster and faster with each passing year.  Somebody knew what they were talking about! 

I distinctly remember being a young girl of 13 (that would be exactly 20 years ago), laying in bed one fall night.  I was thinking about what it might be like when I was an adult and how far away that seemed.  That poor little girl just had no clue!

It gently reminds me that the Bible warns us about the short life we are given.  James says in his letter, “For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” (4:14).  We have to make the most of the time we have.  We have but just a small amount of time to bring as much glory to God as we can and teach others about Christ.  As hard as it can be for us to accept and wrap our small minds around, this really is only a temporary place for us, and then we're called home.  I want my "vapor" to make a mark for the Lord.
 
So, as I embark on this, my 33rd year, I hope I can make much of my Savior.  He's so worthy!




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© 2012 Chrissy Tucker.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I'm Mad!


I'm mad and it's time to let it all out!

In the midst of writing pieces for the blog, I suddenly had a rush of anger come over me!  Real anger.  A raw, emotional occurrence took place.  I hadn't realized how mad I've become.

I'm mad about the state of things in this country- not just politically.  I'm mad about what our families have become as a whole, in such a short time period.  I'm mad at what the American Church looks like and how many of them act.  I'm mad that Christians are all made to look like a bunch of uneducated hillbillies! I'm mad at people who think we should throw all religions into one big pot of stew and believe all paths lead to God (all while holding hands and singing Kumbahya).  I'm REALLY mad at the people who tell us that the Bible is an outdated piece of ancient literature and impractical for use in our modern world.  Shall I go on?  'Cause I can.  Seriously.

The thing is, mad does me no good without action.  Anger only turns into bitterness when it isn't channeled properly.  So, I'm going to channel my anger into writing, which is the best weapon I have at my disposal in my personal arsenal. I'm writing a book!  I hope to make some readers mad too and then we can take that anger and channel it into our relationships, churches and communities.  We have to start one person and family at a time. 

Are you familiar with the phrase, "Back to Basics"?  That's where I'm headed.  I'm going to curl up with the One and Only Source of true wisdom...The B-I-B-L-E (did you Bible-school graduates just sing that?)  In the book, I'm going to explain why I'm so mad at the above offenders (among a few others) and why my readers should join me.  Thus, the book title is:

I'm Mad!  Join Me, Won't You?

I'm not even going to give a finish date because honestly, I just don't know.  But believe me, you'll know because you'll probably hear the shouts!  I covet your prayers on what God would have me say.

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  © 2012 Chrissy Tucker.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Fresh Revelation

Hello, my dearest readers!  I’ve been in a season of thinking, praying, and BUSY! I just renewed my website and will continue the blog, but I want to take a few new approaches in the coming entries. Stay tuned for more on that.

I have asked God to reveal Himself to me in fresh ways, as we find in John 14:21. As I remain and abide in the Word and in prayer, He promises He will do just that! My greatest mentor, Beth Moore, says that as we abide, God builds up a sort-of concordance in our minds. If we go for a period without using what He’s revealed, we may lose it. Worse yet, He may decide not to reveal any more to us! That is a frightening thought to me! I need those fresh revelations like my next breath. The times that He has revealed things to me have been so profound that I cannot imagine not experiencing it again!

I sincerely hope and pray that you do the same. Let’s break this down: The God of the Universe and Savior of our souls has invited us to seek Him- so that He will reveal more of his mystery and glory to us. How, in a right frame of mind, can anyone turn that invitation down?

Seek Him. Abide in Him. A fresh revelation is just a prayer away.

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© 2012 Chrissy Tucker.

Monday, April 23, 2012

A New Read by Author, Jennie Allen

“What if you told God you would do anything…and He took you up on it?”

What a thought provoking question! It’s just one that Jennie Allen tackles in her new book, anything: the prayer that unlocked my God and my Soul (& yes, my punctuation is correct on that). I have had the privilege to read an advanced copy of the book and I’d like to give you a small preview.

Jennie begins by sharing how she came to the thought process that sent her on the journey of writing this book. Although she came from a faithful, Christian home, something was always missing for her. She had led a “safe” Christian life. One that was well ordered and relatively easy.

A conversation with a friend led Jennie to offer up a question to her professor: How does someone really know God? Her professor gave her an answer that forever changed her. He said, “the only exercise that works 100 percent of the time to draw one close to the real God, is to risk…to risk is to willingly place your life in the hand of an unseen God and an unknown future then to watch him come through…” After hearing his words, Jennie describes what happened next:

“I started craving something that had never seemed acceptable to me until that day…a reckless faith, a faith where I knew God was real because I needed him, a faith where I lived surrendered, obedient, a faith where I sacrificed something…comfort or safety or practicality…something. “

Jennie divides the book into three parts: “everything keeping us from anything,” “praying anything,” and “living anything” (again, punctuation correct). She takes us on a journey from recognizing the need for a change to seeing changes come to fruition in our lives through a different thought approach. She encourages us to take a step back and take a fresh glance at our own, personal faith. She further encourages doing something bold – complete surrender- when we recognize the need to change it. Often, we realize it’s that we have a much smaller view of God than we should.

I encourage you to grab a copy of anything when it’s available. You’ll be blessed!


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© 2012 Chrissy Tucker.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Friendship Series: Final Chapter

Welcome back!  Let's finish up this series, shall we?

Codependency is defined by dictionary.com as, "of or pertaining to a relationship in which one person is physically or psychologically addicted, as to alcohol or gambling, and the other person is psychologically dependent on the first in an unhealthy way."

I don't feel like it's an understatement to say that a vast majority of women are codependent.  We look to others for significance, joy, confirmation, and a sense of self.  The problem is, we are searching for this from an empty well.  Humans alter their opinions based on mood, surroundings, etc.  They don't have all the answers.  They often have selfish motives whether conscious or unconscious- even the good ones!  We can't rely on them to supply those needs.  They have the same needs!  Where are we supposed to get these things?  From our Creator-Father!  Because He created us, only God can give us true significance, joy, confirmation, purpose and a sense of self!  He knows exactly what we need and has the means to give it to us; humans don't.   

We all have an innate need to feel significant and purposeful.  According to Jeremiah 1:5, God knew us all before we even placed into our mother's womb!  Have you ever stopped to ponder over that?  That's huge!  Later in Jeremiah 29:11, He tell us that He knows the plans He has for us- for hope and for a future, not harm.  These verses give us a little insight.  First of all, we know He created us.  And if God knew us before we ever made our epic debut onto this planet, than He must KNOW us- inside and out. 

Have you ever built/designed something or planned an event?  By the time that baby's done, you know the in's, the out's, and the glitches. You KNOW your creation.  By that respect, you also know what to do if something goes wrong with it, or if it needs maintenance.  And that's just by your tiny scope of human knowledge.  Imagine if you were infinite and all-knowing!  By these verses we also know that God has plans for us.  That tells us we have a specific purpose.  We were placed on this earth with a specific purpose in mind.  Many of us read that and think, "yeah, well that's great, but I still don't know my purpose." Here's the kicker:  we have to be in communication with God to find out what it is!  John & Jane Doe do not have that insight or knowledge and therefore cannot hand you your purpose.  Make sense? 

On a side-note, we were all placed here for the same bigger purpose:  to glorify Christ and bring others into His fold.  The "purpose" we speak of above is specific and should always fit into our bigger purpose somehow. 

Most of us are codependent because we are extremely insecure.  I want to challenge us all today to find our security from the right place.  Do you realize that we are CO-HEIRS with Christ Jesus?  Do you realize what that means?  We are all royalty!  But instead of royalty through a faulty bloodline from a far-away king, we are royalty through THE bloodline of Christ Jesus himself.  If that doesn't get your royal blood pumping, then I don't know what will! 

You are a royal princess; a co-heir with Christ Jesus, the saviour of the world!  Why on earth do you seek significance from ANYone other than the source of your creation?

It is imperative that we choose our friends wisely, grow those relationships in a Biblical way, and depend only on God for our source of joy, purpose and significance.  If our friendships don't fit into that mold, we need to be in prayer about them. 

I promise, if you pray for God to bring meaningful, deep, Christian friendships into your life, in due time, He will provide.


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 © 2012 Chrissy Tucker.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Friendship Series Part IV

If you poured over the verses, as I pray you did, you'll see that a few things stick out.  I want to start with one that is pretty convicting for all of us.
We live in a society that tells us each person has their own unique path.  "Do what makes you feel good/right."  There are few or no consequences for our decisions.  We get handed a free pass card for just about everything we do.  So, suffice it to say, that when someone tells us we're wrong, nothing gets our blood boiling and defenses up quicker.  But the Word is quite clear on this:  true friends will show us where we err. This does not mean that they are judging us!  (Read that again.)  Luke 23 1:16 says, "Be alert!  If you see your friend going wrong, correct him."  That comes straight from the mouth of Jesus himself.  Proverbs 2:16 tells us, "Wise friends will rescue you from the temptress..."  which means seductive sin.  If our friends are acting in the Spirit and in Christian love, we should fully accept their words. 

Defensiveness normally means there is guilt.  But heaven forbid we be wrong about something...and have to ADMIT it!  Remember, this isn't a concept the world teaches us.  It can be difficult.  Following Christ can be very hard. Often times, we may feel as if we are going against the grain when we make Godly choices.   Of course, the rewards are immeasurable!  But that doesn't make it less hard.  Learning to admit when we are wrong is helpful in all areas.  It builds our character and in turn, builds our relationships with others.  It also grows our relationship with God.  Confession is absolutely necessary to remain in God's will. 

So, when a sister comes to us in kind about something we are doing or have done- we need hear to her out with a humble heart.  In turn, if we see a friend going down a wrong path, ask God for guidance.  Approach that friend in the most loving way possible.  Don't just sit back and do nothing.  God's Word tells us otherwise. 

The next and final chapter of our series will cover  insecurities and codependency.  (Sounds like a blast, huh?)  See you soon!


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© 2012 Chrissy Tucker.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Friendship Series Part III

I want to park on a particular verse for a moment: Proverbs 25:16-17, "When you are given a box of candy, do not gulp it all down; eat too much chocolate and you'll make yourself sick; when you find a friend, don't wear out your welcome. Show up at all hours and he'll soon get fed up."


I love me some Oreos.  Give me a package and I can eat the whole thing.  I kid you not.  So I know this verse in the depths of my being. I've hung over a toilet more times than I care to share because of those little treats.  I also know what it means to wear out your welcome.

See if this sounds familiar:  we find a new friend that we enjoy being around and it's like Christmas!  Soon, we are spending time with them we didn't know we had.  We're sharing our innermost secrets, feelings, and thoughts with them.  But all too soon, we may find that our trust is betrayed and we are heartbroken and lonely.  Been there before?  Sharing too much (time, information, etc) too soon can be dangerous.  We need to pray about our new friendships in the early stages.  True, deep, meaningful friendships are cultivated and grown.  They are not birthed overnight, or even in a few short days or weeks.  Resist the urge to become someone's best friend too quickly. (We will soon get into why we feel the need to do this).  If it is a friendship worth keeping, God will grow it to that level in due time.

When we are battered by the daily grind of being wife, mom, working woman, caretaker, laundry doer, chef, nurse, house cleaner, etc., it can be quite alluring to find someone to share a laugh with or someone who is interested to know our secrets.  Don't misunderstand me here; friends are gifts from God!  But, protect your hearts, girls!  Take it slow.  Don't make yourself sick on-over indulgence.

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 © 2012 Chrissy Tucker.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Friendship Series Part II

Welcome back!  I hope you've allowed the Lord to speak to you through the verses that we shared in the earlier  post.  Over our series, we are going to establish a Biblical "definition", if you will, of what friendship is, based on those verses.


The verses, mostly taken from the wisdom of Psalm and Proverbs, give us some guidelines. I think a proper place to start would be choosing our friends.   Proverbs 12:26 tells us that we are to choose our friends carefully because the way of the wicked leads them astray.  This is of utmost importance.  The choosing of our friends will often dictate our path.  Most, if not all, believers will find some kind of friendly chemistry with non-believers.  We will find ourselves getting along with someone who lives a completely different lifestyle than our own.  We may share some laughs with them and enjoy their company.  Let's park here and say that this is OK.  Christ hung out with prostitutes, thieves, and the like.  How else are these people supposed to find the love of Christ? From US!  It's part of the Great Commission!  But let's be very careful.  Perhaps we should limit the time we spend with them and only participate in certain activities.  I think I have a great example that sheds some light on why this is important.

I once read a story about a father trying to teach his daughter a lesson.  He was unhappy with her choice of friends. He took her and stood her up on a table and asked her to take his hands.  He said, "when I say 'go', I want you to try and pull me up to you, and I'm going to try and pull you off the table, down to me."  Of course, when he said 'go' he obviously pulled her down of the table very quickly.  He said, "See...it's a whole lot easier for others to pull you down to their standards than it is for you to raise them up to yours."  What a telling lesson!  It's not just for kids, ladies. Friend choice continues our whole lives!


If you noticed, there were a couple of verses our pick that spoke directly about God.  Of course the whole Bible is inspired by God, but these particular verses spoke about Him.    Psalm 35: 13-14 tells us that God keeps an eye on his friends and hears their moans and groans.   Psalm 37: 28 says that God doesn't turn His back on His friends.  So, using God's personal example of friendship, we can deduce two things from the top:
1) We are to be in tune with our friends.  If they are in pain or in need, we should know that and to assist accordingly.
2)  We are not to turn our backs on friends in need.

Let's stop there and take this in bit size portions.  I know it's like, "Chrissy, lets just get the show on the road and spit it all out."  Well, I'd like to.  But this is a crucially important lesson.  I have found, even though I am a "hurry up girl" myself, when it comes to scripture, it's best to take my time and chew on it slowly.  I find that's when the Spirit speaks.

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© 2012 Chrissy Tucker.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Friendship Part 1

Welcome to the friendship series.  My goal here is that we learn how to not only choose our friends, but also learn to be good, Christian friends. 

Obviously, to learn about Christian friendship,  we are going to consult the Bible for its wisdom on the matter.  Before we get the ball rolling on the series, I invite you to read, pray over, and meditate on several verses.  By that, I simply mean, to read the verses over a few times and pray for God to speak to you through them.   Once we have absorbed that into our marrow, we will reconvene and discuss a few different topics within the realm of friendship.  I am going to use The Message version for these verses.  The language it uses has a tendency to speak to us in a relevant way for today and can often help drive a message home.  When I started my research, I learned the Bible has A LOT to say on this matter.  So much so, that it is impossible to include it all here.  However, I’m handpicking a few key verses that I feel have a lot packed in them:

Psalm 35:13-14, “God keeps an eye on his friends; his ears pick up every moan and groan.”
Psalm 37: 28, “Turn your back on evil, work for the good and don’t quit. God loves this kind of thing, never turns away from his friends.”
Proverbs 2: 16, “Wise friends will rescue you from the Temptress— that smooth-talking Seductress who's faithless to the husband she married years ago, never gave a second thought to her promises before God.
Proverbs 12:26, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
Proverbs 14:10, “The person who shuns the bitter moments of friends will be an outsider at their celebrations.”
Proverbs 16:28-29, “Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships. Calloused climbers betray their very own friends; they’d stab their own grandmothers in the back”
Proverbs 17:17, “Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.”
Proverbs 22:11, “God loves the pure-hearted and well-spoken; good leaders also delight in their friendship.”
Proverbs 25:11-12, “The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry, And a wise friend's timely reprimand is like a gold ring slipped on your finger.”
Proverbs 25:13, “Reliable friends who do what they say are like cool drinks in sweltering heat—refreshing!”
Proverbs 25:16-17, “When you're given a box of candy, don't gulp it all down; eat too much chocolate and you'll make yourself sick; And when you find a friend, don't outwear your welcome; show up at all hours and he'll soon get fed up.”
Matthew 5:23-24, “This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.
Luke 21:16-19, “Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it's personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, 'I'm sorry, I won't do it again,' forgive him."

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© 2011 Chrissy Tucker.

Monday, March 19, 2012

New Series on Friendship

Over the next few posts, I want to introduce a series on friendships.  I believe that friendships can absolutely make or break our walk with Christ. I believe they can absolutely make or break many things in our lives- especially our fragile hearts.  They carry great power.  God wants us to handle our friendships wisely, and with great care.  I hope this series will address how we can practically apply God's principles to our friendships and we can learn together how to make Godly friendships an important place in our lives.  I'm excited about this study with you!

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© 2012 Chrissy Tucker.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Posh Spirituality

I think by now, if you've followed this blog long enough, you know me well enough to know that I am not concerned with making friends solely by my word choices... hence my post today.  My goal is to call attention to the ludicrous world we live in and step on a few toes (including my own) for the sake of Christ. I'm sure everyone can most likely find at least one thing in my blog personally offensive. I make no apologies there.  It's not that I aim to hurt anyone.  Gracious no! But I am not concerned about being politically correct (heaven forbid)!  I am also not concerned with being labeled, "intolerant". This may be a controversial statement, but the Bible is an intolerant book. God hates sin.  All sin. Period. He hates it so much that He had an elaborate plan to deliver us from it.  Because we are human, we cannot fathom that an intolerable God can also be inclusive and loving.  In fact, He's the source of love.  In our world, these two ideas can't coexist. That's in our world. Christ is not of this world.  Furthermore, we sometimes use the cross- a tortuous instrument used in slaying our Savior- as a crutch. Christ died for us so we wouldn't have to pay our own toll for sin. That doesn't give us an "out" when we make decisions in our lives that aren't Godly ones. Paul made that very clear. Oh, but we say to ourselves, "I know this is not a Godly decision, but it's just something I have to do for me." How arrogant  that we could ever think ANY of this is about us and our own comfort!

I remember an episode of Oprah a few years ago where she interviewed the author of Eat, Pray, Love. That interview prompted me to buy the book. That book took me on what I saw at the time as a spiritual journey. I will be very transparent for you and tell you that I felt a bit "posh" after reading it.  I thought I was tolerant, thoughtful,  and even profound.  I wanted to travel and eat delicious, gourmet food with all the chic "trophy" friends in my life.  You know, the homosexual friend, the friend of another race, the foreign friend, the eclectic friend, the male friend, etc.  and we could all sit around a giant table, passing salad, bread, and pasta, sipping our wine and rejoicing in our tolerance and chicness; discussing our  love for all the world, after meditating, of course.

I now realize how ridiculous and far away from Christ I really was.  Not because of my friend choice or our discussions, but because of my arrogance and need to "update" the character of God to fit this modern world.  That book was actually about a woman who abandoned her husband because she just didn't "feel" it anymore.  I'm paraphrasing, but she basically says God told her to leave because he wanted her to be happy (this is in direct opposition to God's true character).   She travelled to Europe and Asia where she ate amazing food, found some new friends, and ended up in India at an ashram- searching for nirvana and "god".  (That's the short version).  I truly thought I was spiritually minded and grounded at that time in my life.  How sad that our society has this type of influence on us that it blinds us to ourselves!  People want to make Christ into this hippie "love and peace" character, when He's no such thing!  He does teach an aspect of peace; a peace only He provides.  He obviously teaches us about love.  Read the Word of God and tell me if you find the hippie character.  He's not in there (I'll save you a couple thousand pages). 

We don't come to Jesus because of his popularity.  In fact, it's the opposite.  We come to Jesus despite His UNpopularity.  He told us that we'd be hated for His cause.  When we try to "broaden our mind" as the world says we should,  and reconstruct our faith to rationalize our decisions in life that don't include or honor Him, then we are not following Him.  We're actually following self and using the name of Christ to tie a big red bow on it to make it marketable to the world.  Living for self and for the world.  Using Christ's banner and name for our own selfish purposes is a terrifying thought.  He is patient and may allow us to get away with it for a while, but I certainly don't want to be in the throne room with that charge on my account.

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© 2012 Chrissy Tucker.