Firstly, at the risk of sounding “snippy,” I must state a disclaimer in these silly days in which we live…For those who are offended by the air others breathe, this is a personal opinion post; meaning, these are my thoughts and reasons alone. I’m not judging those of you who choose to do something else. You have your own thoughts and reasons on the subject, and if you feel the need, share them through any venue you choose. Moving on…
We live in a world where if something isn’t posted on Facebook, it doesn’t “exist”. We’ve all heard the saying, “It’s not official until it’s Facebook official!” We laugh at that comment, but many live by it, sadly. Last week I heard someone say, “Well, they haven’t posted anything, so I don’t know if that’s true or not.” Really? Maybe it’s because some poor souls choose to give a play-by-play of their lives (posting every. single. thing. they. do), that we expect others to do the same. My Facebook posts have slowed down over the last year (not ceased, just slowed). Maybe it’s age, but I’m just not feeling everything is as “share worthy” as I once did. One thing in particular I’ve noticed lately is a seemingly incessant need for many to post social media proclamations of love. I have to say, it bothers me. [“So, get off Facebook, then,” you say. Good plan. I contemplate it often. If my family didn’t live a zillion miles away, I would.]
Studies have shown (yes, documented studies-people study this for some reason) that the same people who continually post affirming updates on social media about their relationships (kids, spouse, etc.) are often the most insecure in those relationships; as if they are trying to convince themselves and the world that they have the greatest relationship with that person; or want the virtual world to see them as a better person (an awesome wife, mom, etc.).
I do still occasionally post pictures of our kids as they grow. More often than not, I do it for family that we don’t see often. I will give a birthday shout out with a heartfelt, “I love you” or pictures of exciting moments- or even mundane moments- of our lives, etc. I don't post proclamations, affirmations, or professions on social media. No pictures or poems about my feelings for someone will be seen on my wall. We've all seen the ones that say something to the effect of, “My kids are the most amazing things in my world…” or, “When I held my daughter in my arms, my whole world stopped," or, "You didn't grow in my tummy, but you grew in my heart" etc. Not my style. Honestly, for me, I have to question motives there. I mean, if I feel that way about someone, why not write it down and give it to them in a letter or card, or better yet, say it in person? Why does one feel the need to post it publicly? I'm just saying, it's a question worth asking ourselves..."why am I posting this?"
For those that have golden memories and are thinking, “Wait...I remember when you posted ‘X’...” Ok. You got me. There was a time in my life where I did post things that were semi-personal. When I got married and gained a family, I posted quite a bit for quite a while (though never to the extent described above). Perhaps I was still amazed at my good fortune and blessings that I needed to remind myself it was real (I was 30 when I married and gained a family; so, it was a very exciting time)! And perhaps I had my own psychosis (not claiming to be perfect here).
I hold my relationships to my husband and children extremely sacred. I feel as if it cheapens the relationship, in a way, to proclaim my undying love for them to the virtual world, made up of people I rarely talk to or barely know for the most part. Even if a Facebook friend and I are close in “real” life, there’s no need for me to explain how I feel about my husband and children to those people. I certainly hope if we’re close, they know me well enough to know what my husband and kids mean to me. My dearest hope is that that my husband and children feel loved, everyday, through my actions and words in our real lives- not through a meme or a paragraph professing my love on social media.
© 2016 Chrissy Tucker.